South Africa’s slow descent into chaos

  As an artist I think I’m quite in touch with my surroundings. I am acutely aware of what goes on around me, at least visually. During the past two years I have noticed many changes. Some of these changes are good but some are really bad. 

I’ve noticed a slow slide into chaos during the past two years. People are markedly more agitated and aggresive. Not just on our roads but in almost every interaction I sense real annoyance and almost despair. Yes, yes I know, these are anecdotal and subjective experiences. If you live in some one horse town with a mountain and two goats then move on. I’m talking about the big cities. And the one down there doesn’t count, it’s full of fucking foreigners. It’s not even South African anymore.

Up here, in the 35 degree heat people are getting really pissed off. I don’t know why but women stare you down like you’re a rapist and men have this “what-the-fuck-are-you-looking-at” stare that belongs in C-Max, not in an upmarket shopping mall. Almost every guy is acting like he’s going to be butt-fucked (by me?). Almost every women is acting as if they’re Beyoncé and all us dudes want to get in their pants. Reality check ladies. Most of you are dog ugly and the reason why I’m staring is because I can’t believe the doctor let you live when you were born. 

Recently I started paying attention to BMW drivers (yes, yes, I’ve ranted about them before). Anyway, the more I pay attention, the more I realize that it’s all true. They’re fucking assholes. We make jokes about their indicators not working but just today I drove behind not 2, but 3 bmw’s and none of them had indicators. What is up with that?

Now, since I’ve been paying attention to the cars more than usual I’ve noticed another trend. The VW Amarok drivers. These guys are the worst. Their trucks are so big. I mean very fucking big, but I think it’s in direct proportion to the size of their egos. Testosterone, small brains, big egos, small dicks. That’s them. They have no respect for anything or anyone. Roads mean nothing. Stop signs are in some foreign language. They bully their way through the traffic causing destruction in their wake. These people need to be shot on sight. 

Our country is slowly descending into chaos. People don’t stop at robots anymore. I see people throw plastic bottles out of their cars and just today I witnessed a guy do an illegal u-turn while there’s a traffic cop behind him! He didn’t give a shit. You know why? Because you can buy yourself out of any situation today. The law is for sale. In any event I think the traffic cop was too scared to pull the guy over because he might just get shot. That’s what happens in this city. It’s become the new Lagos of Africa. Cars pull over on the side of the road all time. What the fuck are they doing on the side of the road? Did they get lost? What the fuck is going on? 

We’re on our way to shit street in a speed train and no-one is noticing. Lawlessness, apathy, lethargy, anarchy is around every corner. We’re like the proverbial frog in the hot water. It’s nice and warm now, but by the time we notice we’re boiling it’ll be too late. 

We’re all fucked you know.

Google search “intelligence” is a joke

  Why is it that if I search for a plumber in Pretoria that Google shows me plumbers in New Jersey? And that is just one example of a search engine that has zero intelligence. Almost every single search produces incomprehensible organic results and in the most cases totally irrelevant. 

If this is the future of AI then we have a very, very long way to go. In fact, the biggest mistake we can make is to allow google to put their self driving cars on our roads. Can you imagine the clusterfuck on the N1?

Google has lost the plot. Their innovation is driven by revenue and their initial drive to create a search engine that works has been largely abandoned. Now, all they do it clump together a whole bunch of rubbish and present it as search results. Why? Because it makes no difference to the paid advertising . Sorry, it actually does. It makes the paid advertising more valuable. Organic search results has become obsolete and pointless. The only thing that counts now is Adwords.  

 Google it seems, is actively pursuing a strategy of discouraging organic search. Big mistake Google because your core search users are going to abandon you. Fast.

Why is Siri so dumb?

imageThere is nothing that that quite demonstrates the stupidity of people as clearly as Siri. By now everyone knows who Siri is. If you don’t then you have probably been living under a rock in the Iraqui desert. Just in case you just crawled out from under your rock, Siri is Apple’s attempt at creating a virtual assistant. You can ask her questions and she’ll attempt to answer them or you can tell her to do stuff like make a call.

The fact is she in unfortunately wholly incompetent and very, very fucking stupid. I mean, if this is our attempt at creating artificial intelligence we are completely fucked.

She fails even at the simplest task and it’s defiantly not because she doesn’t understand me. She’s just fucking stupid. I think you can probably write the commands she understands and the things she can do on three pages max. Supposedly, behind Siri is a huge supercomputer that can do all kinds of wonderful things and process billions of instructions per second. Sorry dudes, but I don’t experience that. As I said, she’s fucking dumb.

I asked her a few minutes ago why she stops recording a note in the middle of my sentence. She politely replied that she doesn’t know what I mean. Even though my sentence was quite clear and she interpreted everything I said correctly. She can’t answer a simple question which should be easy to program. Here’s the question and then voila, here’s the answer.

So why is Siri so stupid? Because the people that created her are stupid. You see, they can’t create anything smarter than they are. You don’t know what you don’t know and stupid people don’t know they’re stupid. They think they’ve created something awesome when in fact they have just completely destroyed evolution. We are going back in time.

Can someone please develop a decent virtual assistant that works. You have to save mankind!

Are you Ignorant or Indoctrinated by religion?

Watch this incredible video with Sir David Attenborough. Watch this video and then tell me we are not relatives of the other great apes. If you still don’t think so then you are either ignorant or indoctrinated by religion to such a level that you can’t think or judge for yourself.


Why life after death is impossible

IMG_0374-0Well, almost impossible. Except if you’re planning on having a head transplant or uploading your brain into a super computer. I’m talking more of the religious concept of life after death.

Interestingly, the first head transplant is scheduled to take place in 2017 and will be performed by Dr. Sergio Canavero, an Italian neurosurgeon.

I’ve thought about life after death a lot. I think most people at some point seriously think about this concept, because we all need some purpose in life, and what better purpose than immortality?

There can be no life after death and that is a fact. Despite religious beliefs that claim otherwise, life after death is impossible and here’s why.

The concept of a soul is central to life after death. The idea is that after we die, our souls leave our body and goes to some other place. Without a soul it will be impossible to continue living. We know that because our bodies decay and decompose. Once you die your body is of no use to you.

The question then is, do we have a soul?

We know that our memories are housed in our brains. Everything we are and will be is in our brains. When we die our brains also decompose. If we had a soul then our memories must be stored somewhere else. If you have severe brain trauma such as amnesia or a part of your brain is removed in surgery you lose your memories. If you had a soul and your memories were in your soul then you would not lose your memories.

We therefore know that our memories are part of our physical body and not our soul. Theists believe that our memories and consciousness are not necessarily the same thing. That may be so, because we have no way to prove that it doesn’t. If we did have a soul and we died, then our soul would move on to the afterlife without our memories.

We therefore know that our memories are part of our physical body and not our soul.

If we did have a soul and we died, our soul would move on to the afterlife but you would not be “you”. You would have no memory of yourself, your past, your family or anything that makes you “you”.

The answer to the question of the existence of some kind of afterlife is not that complicated after all. There is no life after death, and even if there were we wouldn’t know about it.

You have one life. The life you have now. Make the most of it, because that is the purpose of life.

Why, why, why?

We all have THAT day. You know, when the world pisses you off so badly you actually search through Junkmail for a weapon of mass destruction. Here is my Why rant for the day.

Why, when you search on Google and select your region as South Africa does is show you search results from Pakistan and the rest of the word? Now that we’re all used to Google, its shortcomings are painfully obvious. Please Google, focus on delivering efficient, intelligent search before putting driverless cars on the roads. If you can’t even give me relevant search results, imagine the fuckup on the N1 you’re going to cause.

Why does iTunes think that Louis Armstrong is a different artist than Louis Armstrong? How fucking difficult can it be to sort your music library without needing to download 10 different apps?

Why does my iPhone not allow me to email more than 5 photos? Seriously Apple, we don’t have fucking dialup modems anymore.

Why can News24 not develop a proper, working mobile website? I mean they belong to Naspers, one of the largest technology investment companies in the world for fucks sakes. It’s real simple you nincompoops. Open your iPad and go to and see the clusterfuck for yourself.

Why must DSTV have a thousand series on catchup and only 10 movies? We don’t all want to see fucking low budget vampire shows.

Talking about DSTV. They launched their new self service website recently. Holy shit it’s bad. Who’s making these shitty websites anyway. The scary thing is DSTV actually paid for this digital septic tank.

Why all the ads on Jacaranda? Have you listened to Jacaranda lately? They should change the name to Ad Radio with a few songs in between. And the jokes! Please people. You’re not funny ok. Just play the fucking music and shut the fuck up. Please.

Woollies are really going to the dogs. The shelves are so empty that I feel like I’m somewhere in Zimbabwe. Eish! Is the response you get when asking the manager if the Ethiopians raided the store. What’s up Woolies? There’s more stock at the BP convenience shop. And they have better pies.