Cyril’s Balls are in a Jar in Nkandla

The whole affair was almost surreal. It was supposed to be full of pomp and ceremony and a celebration of one of the most important events in the history of our democracy. Few items on the national calendar are more important than elections. It was the night that our democracy would be celebrated as the results of the 2016 Municipal Elections were revealed.

It started out slow. A kind of melancholy hung over the audience. Oupa Gwede was stumbling around in his WWII era coat whispering in this ear and that ear. Shuffling up and down the aisles, purposeless. The dignitaries were seated. The big game breeder sat down with a look of utter displacement on his face. It was like he was attending some ceremony in a foreign country listening to people speak in some foreign language. No doubt he would rather have been at home counting his billions while sipping 1962 Dalmore Single Highland Malt at $20,000 a bottle.

Chief Justice Mogoeng Mogoeng sat silently to the right of the big game breeder with eyes almost shut. Perhaps thinking that if he can’t see them, then they can’t see him. He faked a yawn. In fact everything was fake.

The Big Kahuna floated in with an entourage the size of Gadaffi’s minus the Amazonian warrior women. Another fake smile and the big cheese sat down next to the Last Fallen Saviour turned big game breeder and Bon Viveur.

The speeches rambled on and the bleakness swallowed the hall like the black mist over the Thames.

The chief philanderer stepped up to the stage and cleared his throat. And then it happened. Four women dressed in black stood up in front of Zuma and faced the audience with simple, hand written signs to protest against his acquittal of rape 10 years ago. It was a silent protest. A very powerful protest. Probably the most powerful protest in the history of modern politics that will be talked about for many years to come.

The big cheese continued demonstrating his masterful oratory skills unwittingly. He didn’t know what this was all about, but to be fair, he seldom knows what is happening around him as demonstrated by the klap he got in these elections.

The women stood directly in front of our beloved big game whiskey drinker and our almost asleep (faking it) Chief Justice. They looked at these women in utter disbelief. Whispers were everywhere. No one even really noticed the red overall clad cleaning crew leaving the house.

No one even really noticed the red overall clad cleaning crew leaving the house.

In minutes the speech was over and if you had to ask anyone afterwards if they could remember one word the Zuma said, you wouldn’t find one. All eyes were on these brave women with their impromptu display of courage. It will be a defining moment in the career of – no, not JZ but Cyril Ramaphosa. Our second in charge.

It was the moment when his utter lack of leadership skills was exposed. The moment when the whole world realized that this eunuch left his balls in a jar at Nkandla. It was the moment when a real leader would have stood up and taken charge of a truly disastrous situation by quietly interrupting the speech and then by approaching the women and spoken to them. A true leader would have told them that their protest had been noticed and that he would be glad to meet with them personally to discuss their grievances.

The world has witnessed a Putinesque reactionary response in the gaping void left by the absence of true leadership.

A true leader would have quietly walked them out, showing real interest in their story. A true leader would have done the right thing. Instead a bunch of thugs rounded them up like cattle and pushed and shoved them out, in full view of the entire world. A defining moment where true leadership could have made all the difference. The world has witnessed a Putinesque reactionary response in the gaping void left by the absence of true leadership.

There was not one leader in the house. Perhaps he walked out with the cleaning staff.

20 thoughts on “Cyril’s Balls are in a Jar in Nkandla

  • 10th August 2016 at 7:58 am
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    Well said! Oh how I am enjoying the outfall of these elections, aided greatly by commentaries such as this. I shared on Facebook. Thank you!

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  • 10th August 2016 at 5:57 am
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    To the point!

    I felt as if I was there, although I did not even bother to turn on the TV at the time.

    Keep on posting!

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  • 9th August 2016 at 5:51 pm
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    Well they have done it themselves and what goes around comes around. This is not a president, JZ has shown us what he really is and very blatantly with zero consequences. Most of his top guys are just un-qualified followers who are there to comtinue to fill their bloated pockets. All above the law.

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  • 9th August 2016 at 5:20 pm
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    Excellent . . . and change philander to philanderer!

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  • 9th August 2016 at 2:46 pm
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    I am disagreeing about what actions leadership should have taken. The steps were much simpler. Stop the bulldogs from coming close, and at the end of the speech publickly acknowledge the universal relevance of the important message they are conveying.

    The question is whether Cyril has control over the bulldogs. Therefore not sure that these facts warrant your conclusion. Sitting quietly to let no 1 face his music is an adequate response I would think.

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    • 9th August 2016 at 6:49 pm
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      I disagree. He is the deputy president after all. All they wanted was to be seen and heard and acknowledged. He could easily have accomplished that.

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  • 9th August 2016 at 1:20 pm
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    No-one can defend him-/herself against this brilliance. I am hiding my balls as I write…

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  • 9th August 2016 at 1:19 pm
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    The whole world would gave seen it other than the majority in SA as I am sure Cloudy Hlaudi of the SABC would have had it censored

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  • 9th August 2016 at 10:14 am
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    The lack of leadership is the main problem of the ANC.

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  • 9th August 2016 at 5:26 am
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    Interesting observation, except I do remember certain key words written by his writers and expressed by him in his speech eg “Constitutional Democracy”, “all South Africans”, being concepts that he, as with his inability to read figures, has absolutely no understanding of. His script writers should take the blame.

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  • 9th August 2016 at 12:42 am
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    empty balls
    pockets full of money
    disgrace of raw ignorance
    amongst the cadres

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  • 8th August 2016 at 10:40 pm
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    Brilliant commentary! Really commendable…

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  • 8th August 2016 at 10:39 pm
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    So sad to think that those virtual beings represent our nation. They represent both you and me.

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  • 8th August 2016 at 10:38 pm
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    So sad to think that those phantoms represent a nation; represent both you and me.

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  • 8th August 2016 at 10:46 am
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    It is sad to be part of the mockery that such an uneducated led our country to. There is nothing good for us to keep on harbouring JZ and his bunch of ignorati/scoundrels.

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  • 8th August 2016 at 10:41 am
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    Its like the Pussy Riot story in Russia

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  • 8th August 2016 at 7:50 am
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    Brilliant commentary but please correct your spelling of isle to aisle.

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      • 12th August 2016 at 8:10 pm
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        Marthinus, go into formatting in Word (top bar) and reformat the language to UK English from US English. Great column!

        Reply

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