An inconvenient truth

 
 

You’re poor and earn a minimum wage

You’re poor because you don’t have skills that companies need. The better your skills the more money you make. Get off your ass and learn something that will make you valuable. Learn anything, but remember, becoming good at anything requires hard work. There is no short cut.

You hate your job

Get a new job. Get off your ass and go find a job you’ll enjoy. But you see, here’s the catch. Most people hate their jobs because it’s the only job they can get. Improve your skills in the career you enjoy and you will enjoy your job. Stop complaining about the fact that you hate your job. You actually just hate yourself for not having the balls to do something about it.

You hate your boss

You probably hate your boss because you’re getting pressure for not doing your job properly. You probably hate your boss because he/she doesn’t say thank you every time you do something that you are paid to do. Get off your ass and become better than your boss and you’ll eventually become the boss. Stop feeling entitled. You are entitled to nothing unless you earn it. You can’t earn it in months. It takes years. Learn from your boss and stop being jealous because you’re not the boss. You’re not the boss because you’re not good enough yet.

You don’t earn enough money

You work from 8 to 5 and you hardly come out with your salary. Shame. You need 8 hours sleep and another 2 for domestic stuff. That leaves 5 hours that you probably lounge away watching cricket or Desperate Housewives or some other mind-numbing drivel. Instead of working on your own goals you do nothing. I’m tired! I worked hard the whole day! Shame. Grow some balls and do something. Improve your skills. Start a part-time business. Sell something. Make something. You will not become wealthy with your day job. You can earn as much after hours as during office hours, thereby doubling your income. Catch is, it will require you to get off your lazy ass and do something.

You don’t have any friends

Maybe no one wants to be friends with you for a reason? Are you a nice person or an asshole? Look in the mirror. What do you see? Will you be friends with yourself? Stop blaming the world. Change. Improve. Make yourself better. Learn. Listen. Grow. 

You have really bad luck

We make our own luck. Garry Player once famously said, “The more I practice, the luckier I get.” 

Bad luck is just another excuse of weak people to try and justify their own ineptitude.

It’s an inconvenient truth, that almost everything that goes wrong in our lives is our own fault. Own up and get off your ass and do something about it.

The Secret of Happy Relationships

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I am unashamedly happy.

I say ‘unashamedly’ because sometimes we are made to feel as if were not allowed to be happy. With all the unhappy people around us we are made to feel guilty about our own happiness – as if it’s our fault that we’re happy, and that by showing and expressing our happiness, we are somehow bragging or attempting to make other people feel bad about their circumstances.

What a crock of nonsense. It’s peoples own weltschmerz that is defining their perceptions about happy people. Their reality is defined by their distorted view of ‘how things should be’, instead of the reality that nothing is ever perfect. No relationship is perfect and no person is perfect. That ‘perfect’ partner that you fantasize about does not exists, sorry. Maybe in a Disney movie, but not here on earth.

So what makes a couple happy? What are the ingredients for happiness in a relationship?

  1. RespectRespect for yourself firstly, and then respect for your partner. Many people respect their partners but not themselves. When you look in the mirror what do you see? Someone that your partner can respect? Someone that your partner can look up to and be proud of? If not, then you have to become respectable. If you don’t then it means you don’t respect your partner.
  2. Be the person you want your partner to beStop trying to change your partner. Just be what you want your partner to be. Be the kind of person that he or she would look up to and respect. Stop trying to change your partner. Stop trying to live your life vicariously through your partner. Look inward first, before you look outward.
  3. Unconditional loveBig words, but very important. Unconditional love means just that. It’s not some meme on Facebook. It’s real. But what does it mean? It means that you love your partner with all their faults and shortcomings. You love without condition and demands.

    You love them for who they are, not for what you want them to become.

  4. Learn to spend time with yourselfBoy oh boy, but some people can be demanding. They are so scared to be left alone that they can only be happy if they are the center of attention. It’s because they cannot stand being in their own company. Find a hobby or read a book. Go for long walks – alone. Learn to spend time with yourself because if you can’t then your partner will be smothered and suffocated by your constant needyness. Space and time is very important in a relationship. You need to be able to do your own thing, and you need to be able to give your partner the time and space to be alone.

    If your happiness is dependent on the attention you get, your relationship will fail.

  5. Don’t sweat the small stuffHave you ever seen these small arguments start? Perhaps about the dirty spoon that was left on the table? It starts as a banal argument and then escalates into a full-blown nuclear war. Thinking back on all the arguments, almost all of them started with stupid, insignificant disagreements. Almost all of them escalated into the third world war. This can easily be avoided by not sweating the small stuff. It takes two to tango and one person can not have an argument on their own. It’s your choice if you want to participate in the fight or not.

    Ask yourself this question when the tensions rise: “Will it make any difference in my life if I don’t argue about this?”

  6. Laugh and laugh and then laugh some moreLaughter cures everything. You can’t be unhappy while laughing. Make each other laugh, often. Be silly. Be spontaneous.
  7. Your partner must be your best friendI think this is the most important aspect of a happy relationship. If your partner is your best friend then you will be able to spend time in each others company without getting bored. Friendship in a partnership is more important than love. Love means nothing if you’re not best friends. Best friends talk about everything and anything.

    Best friends forgive and make up, they don’t get divorced.